My cousin just brought to my attention that I will be 27 next year. You know, because I'm not 26 yet?
Yikes.
I'm being made to feel old when I really don't feel that way personally. It's like I'm constantly being reminded of the life targets that I'm not hitting by those that are important in my world, but most blatantly by Facebook. I know that white people are generally on a different timeline than us, but it still makes me feel some kinda way when I see my best friend from 4th grade is married with two kids. There was a time when I was all over this shit (I've since abandoned it) looking at other people's lives and feeling weird about being in people's business...then of course having to tell on myself to rid myself of that bizarre-stalker feeling by IMing June and we whine, whineee, whineeeee together about how we were sold the dream growing up. Woe is us, etc. etc.
Maybe I'm shifting blame on a few levels, but I refuse to blame my own rational mind. I didn't even realize I wanted any of this for sure until about 6 months ago. Maybe the fact that I no longer feel defined by what I do career-wise, or maybe my biological clock finally got strong enough to be all powerful, but whatever the case...it feels like my body, mind and spirit have collectively risen against me. A new phase is pending. Everything's changing.
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