We roll. We cut. We bake things.

Come get some.

A year of firsts...

Beyond bored with Atl and probably looking for excuses to leave...

Reason #3,080

WTF is this??? Year 3008?

I got no words on my idol becoming First Lady and my Dreamboat becoming Prez, I think they've mostly all been said.  But DUDE, Will.I.Am in hologram on CNN last night was the scariest fucking thing I've ever seen.  I will never trust his presence again.  All I could do was keep yelling WHAT THE HELL IS THAT...over and over again at the TV in my drunken state. Absolutely the most bizarre thing that I've ever seen on a news channel.  How does that work exactly? What else can they do with that thing?  I am not ready for this.  One change at a time PLEASE...I'm getting old.  Unless of course they're gonna hologram Andy Cooper into my living room.  I love how he's looking at dead air like a combination of WTF and "I can't believe we're doing this", which is why I love him because I was thinking exactly the same thing.  So yea...I could deal with that.

Yes I was...sooo there.

Manassas, VA - Nov 3. : Blurry but pumped

Last included to document proximity to the awesome one.

I love him!

ahahahahahahahahahahaha

Portrayal Of Obama As Elitist Hailed As Step Forward For African Americans

Two guys "consoling" each other.

*throws panties*

I really need to know if she thinks dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago. She's going to have the nuclear codes, so I really need to know if she thinks thinks dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago. 

lololololololololololol

Oh snap! I just heard Michelle take her earrings off!

I wrote a letter of complain to ABC.  It's one thing to have a difference of opinion, but it is ENTIRELY another to be unprofessional, rude, tacky and baseless when someone isn't around to defend themselves.  If she had an issue of concern, she should've said it while Michelle was nice enough to appear on her show.

Beyond that, this is MALARCHY.  So why didn't anyone ask about Cindy's drug abuse?  How about having an affair with a married man?  Or about her half siblings that are poor? Michelle's list of don't ask me abouts probably had nothing to do with politics. That was awesome bad manners.  I even have actual respect for Republicans, I just wish I could find one that would share their thought process when it comes to their views without them feeling all *judged*. It'd be nice to see a respectable opinion from that side on the show. I hope ABC does something about that.

The jokes write themselves.

Can't stand that Palin after last night.  I'm trying really hard not to call her outside of her name but she almost leaves me no choice. I don't really get all of the rave reviews about how great she was. I thought it was an empty, ironic, and offensive speech that was, at best, delivered well.  Straight out of an SNL season opener.  She probably has the nerve to think she's awesome now.  That just burns me up.

I think all of this is going to backfire.  Afterall, she didn't write this speech and sooner or later she's going to have to take some interviews from journalists that are wayyy smarter than she is. It's going to be quotables for days.  Then once that happens, women will once again remember how much they naturally hate other women, especially cute other women, and rise against her. She desperately needs to take a note from Hillary, who knew just how to play it up. And none of that looking cute and attracting men crap.  She knew the formula.  And I'm a firm supporter of playing to people's ignorance if I can figure out a way to benefit from it. Mark my words: Palin blew it.  You heard it here first.

Come on. COME ON! Who-who-who...wait...who's that? Wait...

Dude.  Joe is so on point this week:

I must say I'm amazed at the Republican unity being displayed over this peculiar choice.  So many people willing to lie and look like complete idiots on national TV for what?  For who? I hate this "Well THEY did it! So WE CAN TOO!!! Even though we based every single one of our attacks before this point on this very issue" argument.  It's ridiculous.  My neices give me that bull all the time and they are ages 7 and 9.  "Well SHE did it first!!!"  Ok, so?  You really have to wonder.  Most of these people are very, very smart.  So when a smart person says dumb things...it's condescending to me. COME ON! Dude, you're up here purely trying to sell me up the river. And that's RUDEE JUDDE!!! (Sorry, lame pun intended.)

If anyone wants to research how huge of a liar Rudy Giuliani is, YouTube "Giuliani Letterman" and listen to him blatantly lie about Iraq. He is a hack. And Joe Biden, who would be the prototype if he wasn't balding, does NOT approve!!!

Yea uh...that will not work. I don't get it. Something's up.

A few Republicans had this to say about Sarah Palin BEFORE she was chosen:

L.M.A.O.

Everytime Barack Obama speaks, an Angel has an orgasm.

I have a penis, thanks June.

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Life goal #100 = Complete

I sailed into the sunset this weekend.

Back like I left something.

Please accept this as my apology:

In her dreams...

This is THE funniest thing that I've ever seen:

Wtf? I can't decide if she is funny crazy or just plain crazy.  This is awesomely odd.  It's like seeing the inside of a crazy person's deluded dreams. Dear Tyra, every concept cannot be a photoshoot, but thanks for making it happen.  

I haven't laughed that hard in weeks.

Give Heath Ledger an Oscar.

Today I got into my house using a screwdriver because the door was locked and the key was still in the other side.


And so begins my life of crime.

No more perfect speech.

I was just thinking.  If lightening ever struck and the world ended up being completely racially and sexually equal, I would definitely be a Republican.

Because see, the thing is.  Democrats just want everything to be fair.  Everyone should have healthcare, everyone should have an amazing education, everyone should work their way up and then we can all share in the fruits together and not have to be all stressed out your entire life over some money. It's a very hippie way of thinking when you think about it. Like peace, love, harmony.  It just all sounds like the right thing to do.

Then you have Republicans who are just hard wired to want to hit a lick essentially.  These clowns don't sit at the bottom and think to themselves, "You know, it's really fucking unfair that my boss gets paid 6x my salary, that's really unfairly disproportionate."  No that thought never crosses a Republicans mind.  A Republican will do his damnest to become the boss, which includes a by any means necessary mentality (which is amazing when you think about this in terms of the Clinton/Obama campaigns.  Clinton has basically become the Republican candidate within the Democratic party).  So yea, a Republican will hit a lick right quick, then sit back and decide whether or not they want to work at all for the rest of their lives.

I'm down with that mentality.  This approach for me, because I think I can do it, is easier because it requires less work OVER TIME.  Work hard for 10 years then I'm up. Plus on the same token if everything goes to shit, I'll be the only one losing out because you guys weren't making that much money anyway. 

I like to really WIN.  Overdo it one time then sit my ass down somewhere. Do what I want. But I also agree with fairness. But I think you can have both under certain circumstances. Trying to be fair all the time, although easier and less stressful, doesn't provide large enough benefits for risk takers. Democrats are like, meh, I'd rather have work just be a section of my life, I don't want it to ever be my life.  I'm trying to live, son!  But Republicans are trying to live too, just after the fact.  It's all about how you look at it. If it wasn't for Republicans, we wouldn't have these large scale family dynasties basically.  Hilton hotels just getting passed down and still making huge profits.  That shit is AMAZING.  And they owe it all to one guy.  And of course he's going to be Republican, cuz he's like man I would've had to do way more work than I actually did if life was fair!  It's a an elite club.  A fraternity.  And all the poor people in it are all the wannabes that just end up getting hazed on.

Which is why I really have a lot of respect for rich Democrats. Cuz they made it and still have a certain amount of respect and experience with the real world. They got where they wanted to go and didn't forget how they got there and have an understanding of every little thing that had to happen to get them there.  I think you have to have a profound understanding of the world to get to the level of the rich Democrat.  And I don't mean the Madonnas...or anybody like that.  I mean, say Anderson Cooper is a Democrat (not sure if he is), but if so, that's amazing.  He's a freaking Vanderbilt.

Which brings me to my point that being a Republican is fundamentally racist.  Black people don't have money to get the correct education to become the boss.  Black people don't know the right people to become the boss.  Black people have never even met a boss to understand what they look and act like.  Black people don't know shit about shit cuz we just got here and we just now started having the time and tools to even begin to have that thought.  Shit 50 years ago our largest concern was staying alive everyday and hopefully get a job making half of what you make so we didn't really have the time/energy/networks to be figuring out how we can cheat and/or rise above the system.  Then we were having kids too cuz home life was probably better back then and if you never learn then you ain't got shit to teach.  Still learning about life while having kids = not smart.  But now that our schools are better than they were in the 60s, we're starting to come around, but we still ain't there yet and it isn't our fucking fault.  Just because white people decided to ease up on us a lil bit, its fair to assume that we should just figure everything out very quickly and thrive?  When y'all have been doing this for hundreds of years? We're still figuring shit out.  Y'all got it figured out and are just passing the information along? Duh?

So black Republicans make me wonder.  Do they really think that they're THAT large?  They're having that good of a time in the world, really? Half of these fools don't even exist as their authentic selves in their lives.  I wonder how it is that they become that arrogant and that out of touch with reality where you think you're in another world where black people actually have a chance.  Because that's what you're saying by being a Republican.  Everyone has a fair chance here, either you sink or you swim.  Stop being lazy and expecting shit to just be given to you. That shit makes my head want to explode. Some people out here really have no idea or grasp on the realities of being any type of minority here.  Black. Gay. Hispanic.  You name it.  Some shit, you just have to experience better than you can explain.

But Barack Obama certainly gave that last sentence a run for every thought I've ever had in my head about race and America.  I mean, he explained it so simply, but without oversimplifying the problems.  So intelligent, SO smart...he's everything.  He is nothing short of amazing.  What kinda person can't get with that shit?

Hillary Clinton is bitter bear.

How does Hillary Clinton sleep at night? "She" is the devil. I use the quotes because her being a woman has been alleged. I think that's up for debate.

I'm new to politics, so everything that has gone on in the month of February from Sen. Clinton has been similar to my initial exposure to the workforce.  It's just so disheartening.  It doesn't have to be this way.  Where are everyone's priorities? Why's everyone so selfish?  I thought we all had the same goal here? What is wrong with you people?!?

She's clearly made a move to set herself up for some future move and is entirely down to sell her soul and integrity to get wherever she's going.  But that's politics, I guess.

What's more concerning is that I had no idea that politics is just one a massive game to see who can trick the AMAZINGLY ignorant general public into believing the most ridiculous thing that for some uninformed reason could actually be seen as true in someone's world.  I don't think I knew that people didn't read on their own until now.  It would seem that news junkies are a part of a clique of sorts that kind of wonder about everyone else.  Like really, you're watching Top Model when there's a debate on?  Asha and I were talking about how amazing it is that an advertisement seemingly swindled mass amounts of people.  Are people that dumb?  Do you just believe anything that anyone tells you?  Part of me wants to start saying any damn thing to Clinton supporters just to get them to the side that I believe is right, but I guess that's what Hillary calls herself doing and I can't be like her.

I just really thought everyone, at least over 23, watched the news all the time.  But I guess that's the kind of thought that comes from being around the same 3 people all the time like myself *shrug*.

I was through with Clinton after the 60 mins interview last week.  But I was REALLY through when she started with the McCain would be a better president than Obama tactic.  Really Hillary?  If you can't win, then no one should...right?  I mean, can you imagine John McCain on national TV MULTIPLE TIMES saying that Hillary Clinton would make a better president than say Rudy Giulliani or Mitt Romney?  I just don't get how someone could be that way and be a-ok with it.  It makes me question a lot of things about the Clintons and life in general.  People are scary man.

For these reasons and the commentary below (thank you Peggy Noonan and Jon Chait), I'm willing to vote Republican in the next election if she somehow swindles the superdelegates into giving her the nomination.  Because we all know she's not about to outright win this thing based on votes from the remaining states. It'll be interesting to see the smart shit that Obama's camp comes up with in the coming weeks to get more "tough" on her--since it's apparent that he needs to do so to win over the dummies everywhere. I'd love to be a part of that think tank.

What do I think is the biggest reason Mrs. Clinton came back? She kept her own spirits up to the point of denial and worked it, hard, every day. She is hardy, resilient, tough. She is a train on a track, an Iron Horse. But we must not become carried away with generosity. The very qualities that impress us are the qualities that will make her a painful president. She does not care what you think, she will have what she wants, she will not do the feints, pivots and backoffs that presidents must. She is neither nimble nor agile, and she knows best. She will wear a great nation down.

In any case the Clinton campaign, which has always been more vicious than clever, this week did a very clever thing. They pre-empted any criticism of past scandals by pushing a Democratic Party button called . . . the Monica story. Mr. Obama is "imitating Ken Starr" by speaking of Mrs. Clinton's record, said Howard Wolfson. But Ken Starr documented malfeasance. Mr. Obama can't even mention it.

* * *

I end with a deadly, deadpan prediction from Christopher Hitchens. Hillary is the next president, he told radio's Hugh Hewitt, because, "there's something horrible and undefeatable about people who have no life except the worship of power . . . people who don't want the meeting to end, the people who just are unstoppable, who only have one focus, no humanity, no character, nothing but the worship of money and power. They win in the end."

Been gone for a minute, now I'm back at the jumpoff...

Hello. My. Name. Is. Jillian. And. I. Have. No. Inflections. In. My. Voice. I'm. Also. Dry. And. Sour. Grapes. However. I. Make. Excellent. Points.

That said, I completely agree with her rant.  As much as I love Victoria Beckham, I had all of these thoughts while watching the finale.  I didn't get why she would be chosen for the *finale* when she's just a regular person with her own since of style like everyone else.  Yea, I guess she's considered a designer, but for me owning a label does not equal being a designer.  This bitch ain't out here making patterns..she's just approving real artists work.  So yea.

I wanted to explore this Alexander McQueen shtick that people keep mentioning and I must say I was very turned off by Christian's "inspiration", which looks to me like he just remade McQueen's 06-07 line more exaggerated/tailored or something. I thought he should've won based on originality and inexperience (the others are already successful--Jillian as a Ralph Lauren designer, Rami has celebrities wear his stuff all the time, apparently), but now I'm on the fence. *shrug*  I don't see how the judges didn't make the connection since Christian apparently actually worked for McQueen.  Buuuttt, I guess it doesn't matter since they were all pretty fierce and fantastic, but see for yourself at these links:

Oh, Hello Ruffles
Hi Feathers!

Winehouse gets the flowers while she can still smell them.

Amy Winehouse accepts Best Record Grammy

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Did not understand her "live sattelite" performance, as its like 3 up in London.  But, you have to wonder about a reaction like that.  Does she not know how amazing she is? Amy Winehouse is undeniable. Beyonce (despite obesity and fashion sense). Chris Brown performances. Janet. Johnny Depp. Jay-Z lyrics. John Mayer. Justin Timberlake. Michael Jackson. Oprah (Ef the haters!). Matthew McConahey's blatant mannishness.  The old Britney Spears. Brad Pitt's sexy. Prince. Stevie Wonder. The Beatles. Tina Turner. Kanye West. Old school Madonna. Victoria Beckham's celebrity. David Beckham's ass. Dave Grohl's talent. Alicia Keys love songs. Tupac. Will Smith. Cornell West. Outkast. Lil Wayne mixtapes. Rihanna's look. Naomi Campbell. The Cosby Show. Curb Your Enthusiasm. A Different World. Sex and the City.  The Sopranos. Little Miss Sunshine.   All movies made about music groups. The Notebook (Rachel McAdams, Ryan Gosling). Asha's dog (there ya go, wench).  Bravo reality shows.  Friends. Christian's humor on Project Runway. Perry on Make Me a Supermodel. Carrie Underwood's Before He Cheats. Tracy Chapman's Fast Car. Jeezy on remixes. The W Hotel. The spinach dip at Houston's. Popeye's fried chicken. Chipotle margaritas. Strip's fried lobster. Papadeux's Swamp Thangs.

Certain things are just facts.

The Grammys were excellent tonight as they were nearly entirely made up of undeniable people and things. 

In keeping with the recent theme of relating everything in life to Obama, Obama is undeniable. He's the Shania Twain that made Carrie Underwood, he's the Naomi that made Tyra, the Madonna that made Britney, the Jon B. that made Robin Thicke, the Janet that made Rihanna, the Tina Turner that made Beyonce, etc., etc. And he won a grammy! Woot!

Imagine everyone he makes everyday.  It's a wonderful thing.

He won Maine tonight, I am happy.

Anyone who disagrees with anything in this post should set themselves on fire.

That is all.

NOTE: No responses please about someone else being a more appropriate enabler to someone else.  I don't care.

Don't be afraid to shake that ass and misbehave.

Happy Friday from my BFFs!

Thank you, my brotha.

YES WE CAN!!! ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want him inside me.  He just highlighted everything great about people who love Obama.  We don't all look the same, but dammit if we all don't feel the exact same, even if we can't all articulate it as amazingly as he just did. Preach!

If you can't respect that, your whole perspective is wack.

"Isn't that sad? No really, I could understand someone being a conservative when you're old and crusty.  But when you're 20 years old, shouldn't you not be cynical?  Shouldn't you be for Barack Obama when you're 20?  I mean, if you can't catch Obama fever at 20..."  

YOU ARE A LOST CAUSE! I'll finish it for you Bill Maher, COULD NOT AGREE MORE!

It's so real. He is not reading off any paper. He's speaking straight from his soul. That's just how he rolls. We are the ones we've been waiting for? How real is that? I can't imagine where you have to be to be voting for Hillary right now. Don't people want something to believe in?  I don't get it. I feel like everyone who sees what I see is forever changed because of this. We are so blessed right now to be experiencing this. If he doesn't win, we won't go back to life as usual. Why would we want to? We're part of something wonderfully brilliant now. It really is a movement in the true sense of the word. What more do people want?

*UPDATE* OMG YALL, I totally was Team Obama before, but then I saw this and I realized that not only is Hillary a woman JUST LIKE ME, but she's also not just any random woman--she's EVERY woman, also just like me!  She's so relatable and feminine, I take back EVERYTHING I said! Go Hillary! 

A wise man told me not to argue with fools, cuz people from a distance can't tell who's who.

There are two types of people in this world.  The helpless and those who help themselves. When I was voting this morning, the most ridiculous woman was behind me getting mad at everything she could possibly think of outloud.  "Voting should be easy," she yelled, "You know what I'm saying?  Maybe I ain't supposed to speak on it, but it should just be easy!!!"

Bitch, how easy do you need it to be?

Let's see.  I got several emails outlining where I could vote, when I could vote and what to do if someone told me I couldn't vote.  Ok, she was older.  So maybe she doesn't have the Internet. Or a job that requires her to utilize a computer.  So, when I turn on the TV everyday in the morning, afternoon and night, there are several news stations telling you where, when and how to vote.  Okay, maybe she doesn't have a TV.  I got several texts from several friends asking me did I plan to vote and have I voted.  Ok, maybe she doesn't have a phone or friends.  When I was riding to work yesterday, every single station that I turned to (I listened to at least 4 different radio stations) was telling people when, how and where to vote. Some were even encouraging folks to call in sick because the lines to pre-vote had been so long.  Okay, maybe she doesn't have a radio or a car.  On my way into voting, I saw a HOMELESS MAN directing the very same woman to the sign that said "VOTE HERE" to show her where to vote.

True story.

On top of that, if you forgot your id, they allowed you to vote anyway and bring your ID later. If you had no clue where your ID was, they allowed you to to vote with a "provisional ballet." Moral of the story: ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SHOW YOUR FAT FUCKING ASS UP.

Despite the fact that everyone was dead silent and uncomfortable during her rants, I let her ignorant ass engage me.  Why?  What is wrong with me? For some odd reason still unbenownst to me at this very moment, I actually gave her a little over a minute of my time.  MAYBE a minute.  I'm tempted to say 30 seconds.  And out of nowhere. Out of the fucking blue. She told me that I must be out of touch with my people.  Because obviously all of my people are black and have no concept of the state of the nation.

How wrong can one person be?

Ok lady (bitch), to prove that I'm sensitive to the plight of the uninformed, come November, here's what I'll do.  I'll look your silly ass up in the phone book, call you, wake you up, remind you to bring identification, pick you up, take you to the poll place, hold your hand, walk you in, explain to all of the nice, cute little old black ladies (with their 1965 wigs on and sorority paraphenalia) that volunteered their time (and probably had seen some REAL hardships in terms of voting in their lifetime) working the poll place that your time is more valuable than everyone else's, therefore you don't have to wait in line.  I'll then give them your information, insert the key card into the machine and read the options aloud to you.  I'll press the buttons that you prefer, and then take your dumb ass home at no cost to you.  I'll be your personal spoon feeder!  See? I'm TOTE in touch with reality.  That reminds me, I need to renew my NAACP membership!

And finally, the winning comment of the night goes to...(drumroll please...)

Dun dun dun dun!!!

I don't know the exact quote actually, sorry for that anticipation.  But this guy on CNN said Huckabee is such a blind follower of fundamentalist religion and so dumb that he doesn't even believe in gravity (as if that should even be a matter of belief, for the slow folks).

Ahahahaha. All of this is so exciting.  I feel so sorry for everyone too "uniformed" to care to be involved. 

Winners never cheat and cheaters never win.

Peyton Manning United Way SNL

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Really not into football in general and the Super Bowl in particular, so I don't pretend to be.  In my head, they stretch a 30 minute game into 4 gotdamn hours by playing for 2 seconds, then stopping.  Playing for four seconds...then stopping.  It's dull.  I have, however, had a strong affinity for Peyton Manning ever since he made SNL funny again (see above).  And before I forget, fuck Tom Brady.  I have enough invasive none-of-my-business-but-so-what animosity for cheaters/deadbeats to think that he's a dick for leaving his pregnant girlfriend or however it went down.  So I decided to root for the Giants by association.  

That said, the 4th quarter was amazing despite the other 2 hours of play.  Up until then, I'd DVRed the entire thing so I could fast forward to the commercials later, which were not good. My mind kept wandering thinking about how hilarious it would be if that loose satellite randomly crashed down onto the field in the middle of everything.  Then halftime was a joke, I feel like blaming Janet Jackson but it isn't all her fault. Bring back Prince! Tom Petty reminds me of various moments in my childhood.  I was waiting for Last Dance with Mary Jane and it just... never happened.  So flipped on over to the Puppy Bowl and OMG CUTE.  NEVER AGAIN WILL I WATCH THE SUPERBOWL. THIS is entertainment!  It should be a 24 hour channel, let me tell you, I'd be all over it.

Speaking of unentertaining jokes...oh hello LA Gear circa 1989 and not in a cool update.  What THEE hell. Just when you think Beyonce and her mama couldn't be any tackier, they go and outdo themselves.  There's literally no competition like the real competition. It wasn't enough that they were high tops.  No no. They had to add that fancy helvetica font to the side.  I'd rather wear those Pastry things, and I would NEVER wear those Pastry things. Wait, I just noticed the website says something about them being couture. Must shut down computer immediately.

Yes we can!

Video = made of awesome.

Your booty might be bigga, but I still can pull yo ni**a...

I LOVE THIS FRICKING SONG.  It reminds me of summertime. Winter is not conducive for life. Erykah always comes with the random foxiness.  I think it's odd, but she does it well.  I mean really, what was that random booty shot? I really just posted this to have something to dance to this Friday and mention that that puppet at the end freaks me OUT.  Seriously one of the scariest things that I've ever seen. I change the channel before he can come on.  You've been warned!  Watch at your own risk! HAPPY FEBRUARY!!!

Signed,

Paid motherfucker

'O8ama.

I am voting for Barack Obama, so do not try to convince me otherwise.  I'm sick of folks. Seriously, some people just want to talk.  The only valid argument that I've heard against him is the whole "race doesn't matter" chant (see Tavis Smiley, Cornell West), but even that's kinda...ehh...

Give me all the bullshit you want to feed me about why he can't be president, but you'll never convince me that Hillary is the better candidate.  Period.  Smarten up.  I'm probably the most feminist person that most of you know.  Ninety percent of the time, I'm going to be for the woman in most situations. I just think women are generally smarter.  But in this case, I wish the men of the world could experience one day as a woman in the work place and understand what that's like. Everyday is a fight as far as I'm concerned.  I don't even want to imagine going to work with the type of people that are drawn to politics as Hillary Clinton.  And while race is much bigger an issue, being larger and more complex, people are more sensitive to it. They tiptoe around it. They know it's wrong. Obama is living proof.

Purely based on what's been done so far, can you imagine Hillary as president? Don't tell me it's about "the issues" again, thanks.  They are virtually the same candidate, they're just trying to create more differences than there actually are so people can feel like they're making a choice. If she wins, all we will see in the media is crap inferring that she's a bitch, bullshit about Bill and shit that happened in the past. Somebody on ABC I think it was, asked her yesterday if she thought she'd be able to "control" her husband.  Wait, what? Have they ever asked that of any other possible-candidates spouses? I wonder?

And yea I get that Bill is such a highly public figure, so that changes things.  But does it really? Bill is going to do Bill, regardless--believe that.  And why shouldn't he?  That's why we love him. It's intriguing. And on top of that, he has that whole "I'm not even cute, but still dead sexy" thing going.  It's sooo distracting.  And when you think about it in terms of her candidacy and them both being two very strong-willed individuals.  It's like how does this really operate behind closed doors?  We know they're in cahoots together and that Bill has never been "out of control" like they portray him to be.  But you can't just take him out of the equation.  The question then becomes should we have to though?

That's a whole 'nother subject but the point is: nobody's gonna give a crap about her agenda. PLEASE, spare me.

I'm not saying it can't be done, but it will be a challenge.  One far more difficult than the one Obama would have ahead of him.  And besides that, he's just such an inspiration.  He makes people believe shit that most of us hadn't thought was even possible.  Imagine what type of power he could potentially have if all goes well.  Imagine the possibilities.

People are such scared little sheep. It never ceases to amaze me the depth of the campaigns that the media has actually used to convince a sizable amount of black people that Hillary is thinking about their black asses more than Obama is.  Girl bye.  I'm not voting for him JUST because he's black, but ask yourself are you NOT voting for him because he is? Sad!

I totally get the whole "I don't talk about politics or religion" thing that people say now, because I'm at a breaking point.  I can't cope.  I feel so totally repulsed by black people who help create arguments against Obama.  So I'm just not speaking on it anymore in conversation. I'll just berate all of you here and remain ignorant to those who actually agree with these amazingly well-concocted baseless arguments.

An LJ friend read my mind:

Dear Coloreds,

I was a hard nut to crack, but I imagine it was inevitable.

I quit black people.

It is over.

It was a tumultous love affair at best anyway and in my old age I am more enamored with a more sedate, satisfying love.

I got up this morning and heard Tom Joyner for the first time in about a year. His take on the debate? That Barack's got the black vote but he can't win the white vote with all that yelling he did last night.

Wait? I thought the problem was that he had too much of the white vote and needs to earn the black vote?

And then I hear their interview with Bill Clinton from a week or so go where they let him run their damn show and tell black America how we should think and vote. Not one of them asked him a substantive question. Not one of them opened their fucking mouths as he chastised the media for not attacking Obama's hopeful politics. Not one of them.

I get it. Bill has been good to them. He gave them unfettered access to his white house and so now he gets to call in his favors. Strange bedfellows this thing makes of niccas and media whores and political dynasties.

But you know what? I'm through. A guy called in to the show and gave them the what for I would have given them. he told them they'd drunk the first black president kool-aid and they are holding this black man to a different/higher standard simply because he is black.

Then there are self-proclaimed revolutionaries around here talking about how a black president actually sets back the cause of...what, exactly I'm not sure, but the logic being anything that can be construed as progress undermines some "movement". Cause, um, progress wouldn't be the aim of any "movement"? Or something like that.

If that's not self loathing and racism then i don't know what is.

You've broken my heart enough. A girl has to think self-preservation.

So niccas win. I'm through. Y'all win. You right. We ain't never going to have a black president - to prove yourselves right you better make sure it never happens.

Go ahead. I'ma practice my yoga and wait for the karma wheel to come rolling back around.

I just hope massa is as good to y'all as you seem to remember him being. It's a different world now. But, hey, as long as Bill plays the sax and Hillary can mist a white woman's tear--I'm sure that's all that matters.

No Love Lost,
T.
________

PS  If you go to http://pentdego.com/obama.aspx you can put anything on the poster above, except when you put anything pertaining to his race, it replaces it with "progress." So clever.

A half a million dollar car and some house shoes.

It must suck to have access to all of the most talented and fabulous designers in the world and still know that you'll just end up looking like the president in drag. It's like when you see people like the rapper chick in Keyshia Cole's Shoulda Let You Go video. Like wow, you're in full professional make up and you still look like you just got out of jail. It's crazy when you think about how crazy-looking they must actually be. How embarrassing.

1.Vera Wang 2. J. Mendel 3. Arnold Scaasi 4. Carlos Miele 5.Amsale 6. Carmen Marc Valvo 7. Angel Sanchez 8. Badgley Mischka 9. Nicole Miller 10. Lela Rose 11. Marc Bouwer 12. Oscar de la Renta

Anywho, getting married sounds so fun. Being married...not so much.

I gotta say I'd take any of these dresses.  Normally I would say that Vera Wang gowns are overrated, but #1 is fierce. #12 is also probably amazing if it wasn't so faint.  Oscar De La Renta dresses always make models look so feminine and slim...but still shapely.  I love that.  

I also love how the chick Oprah put on is right up there in line with all these well-established designers.  That's real networking for you. I needs me summa that.

PS June--this post is for you!  ;)                   

Oh hi Dr. Phil.

Why am I a grown ass woman in my pajamas, with one contact in, standing at my computer clapping, pumping my fist and screaming YES and THANK YOU every other minute? A frickin Kennedy? Comparing Obama to JFK?  I don't care if his head does look like it's about to snap off his neck, this is amazing.

Good morning y'all!!!
This is YOUR week!!!
And today could possibly be the best day of your life!

The possibilities are endless!

K, sorry.  Too much sugary coffee.

They call the meek you whose feet are on the ground.

I'm a recovering selfaholic.  I used to be amazingly, painfully, disgustingly selfish.  It didn't matter what it was--a bag of chips or homework I'd done or just general knowledge that you didn't have--if it was mine, you wasn't getting it sucka.  And if you had it and it was popular/cute believe I would have it tomorrow.  Essentially, I was a prick. And in my mind at that time, if you didn't like me you were stupid or jealous.  And while I still basically feel this way (I SAID BASIC), back then these were facts of life.  There was no grey area (now I can recognize when I've given people reason to not like me). I'm amazed that I had any friends. It used to floor me when people would do nice things for no reason.  I just didn't get it. It sounds so stupid, I know.  But that is the only way I know how to explain that truth. I think I just grossly wanted to outdo everybody.  I NEEDED to be one up on everyone at all times. It was exhausting.

And my poor first, real boyfriend. I was about to say bless his soul, but his soul is on its way to hell and I don't want to interfere with what fate has planned so, I'm going to keep it moving and say I'm just glad I can look back on those guys and appreciate how much some of them had to have liked me cuz I really did not give a fuck. I thought I did at the time, but I didn't. I didn't know how to put forth effort. I didn't know what it actually meant to care about someone else. I didn't know what my actions should entail. It was my world, you were just in it. No hard feelings, I'm sure.

Now that I know better, I try really hard to do better. One day some years ago, I sat down and said to myself, "Self, do you really care about the damn ice cream?  Who cares if Aura ate it all?  Seriously?  Are you fucking kidding me right now? Yea, it's inconsiderate, but you don't care. You really don't. You didn't even pay for it." I'm up here losing my fucking mind behind two scoops of ice cream. That let's you guys know just how big my problems were back then. If ONLY I knew then...

What I know now is that giving what you can without sacrificing yourself totally just might be the key to having a happy life. So it's really all selfish in the end, I guess.  When I put it that way. But still everyone's happy here.  This realization has changed my world more than I can ever explain while still keeping your attention.  

Now, I'm not saying I'm totally cured.  If you drink the last Coke, I will break your face.  But overall, I'll go with I'm at 95.5% recovery.  Ok 90%.  As with alcoholics, I guess I will always be recovering once I've been to the darkside. Sometimes I still hide a little food when I know my brother's coming around.  Sometimes I'll keep my eye contact straight when I see a homeless person. Every now and then I won't let someone over in traffic. Occasionally I'll catch myself lying about something small inadvertently. (NOTE: If it feels like I'm lying, act outraged about it and I'll immediately say I don't know why I just said that. Please, come, have the last bag of fruit snacks.) When I'm not thinking, I still default back sometimes, but I'm trying really hard. I'm almost there.

I don't care about anything--but in a good way.  I don't care about anything to the extent that I'm not about stop you from having what you want if I have anything to do with it. Especially if I ain't using it. Girl, here.  Of course I still have to be my main priority, but if it'll make you happier than it's made me--it's yours. You can have the clothes off my back. Just remind me that I'm not that into them and need to make room for some new crap-I'm-going-to-be-over-next-month anyway.

The wild thing is that now it's made me keenly aware of when people are like the old me.  It's much, much easier to be mean and not do anything extra for anybody.  I think it comes very natural to certain people,  but it's just plain immaturity. And while it's harder to be nice, it becomes second-nature once you realize how wrong you are.  That's the crazy part about it. You just have to think about it.  I don't think it's possible to ever really love anyone when you're that way. I'm generally genuinely ridiculously happy when fabulous things happen to other people. I can say that while it's definitely harder to be nice, especially not all the time, it pays off.  It all comes back.  Plus you can recognize that same niceness in other people and help each other out. It makes life wonderous. I'm free. Do the right thing people.  All that stuff we learned in kindergarten was the truth.  Honesty is the best policy...do unto others...don't take kindness for weakness...all that. Somebody genius tried to prepare us early in life and some of us listened and some of us thought we knew better.  Man in the mirror. Nothing but the truth.  It'll be all worth it if when I die at least ONE person would write something like this about moi:

One night, as I’m standing on LaSalle Street in Chicago, trying to line up a shot for “The Dark Knight,” a production assistant skateboards into my line of sight. Silently, I curse the moment that Heath first skated onto our set in full character makeup. I’d fretted about the reaction of Batman fans to a skateboarding Joker, but the actual result was a proliferation of skateboards among the younger crew members. If you’d asked those kids why they had chosen to bring their boards to work, they would have answered honestly that they didn’t know. That’s real charisma—as invisible and natural as gravity. That’s what Heath had.

Heath was bursting with creativity. It was in his every gesture. He once told me that he liked to wait between jobs until he was creatively hungry. Until he needed it again. He brought that attitude to our set every day. There aren’t many actors who can make you feel ashamed of how often you complain about doing the best job in the world. Heath was one of them.

One time he and another actor were shooting a complex scene. We had two days to shoot it, and at the end of the first day, they’d really found something and Heath was worried that he might not have it if we stopped. He wanted to carry on and finish. It’s tough to ask the crew to work late when we all know there’s plenty of time to finish the next day. But everyone seemed to understand that Heath had something special and that we had to capture it before it disappeared. Months later, I learned that as Heath left the set that night, he quietly thanked each crew member for working late. Quietly. Not trying to make a point, just grateful for the chance to create that they’d given him.

Those nights on the streets of Chicago were filled with stunts. These can be boring times for an actor, but Heath was fascinated, eagerly accepting our invitation to ride in the camera car as we chased vehicles through movie traffic—not just for the thrill ride, but to be a part of it. Of everything. He’d brought his laptop along in the car, and we had a high-speed screening of two of his works-in-progress: short films he’d made that were exciting and haunting. Their exuberance made me feel jaded and leaden. I’ve never felt as old as I did watching Heath explore his talents. That night I made him an offer—knowing he wouldn’t take me up on it—that he should feel free to come by the set when he had a night off so he could see what we were up to.

When you get into the edit suite after shooting a movie, you feel a responsibility to an actor who has trusted you, and Heath gave us everything. As we started my cut, I would wonder about each take we chose, each trim we made. I would visualize the screening where we’d have to show him the finished film—sitting three or four rows behind him, watching the movements of his head for clues to what he was thinking about what we’d done with all that he’d given us. Now that screening will never be real. I see him every day in my edit suite. I study his face, his voice. And I miss him terribly.

Back on LaSalle Street, I turn to my assistant director and I tell him to clear the skateboarding kid out of my line of sight when I realize—it’s Heath, woolly hat pulled low over his eyes, here on his night off to take me up on my offer. I can’t help but smile.

PS I don't get the video either.

Dance Party Friday!

I rewound this too many times. Queen Latifah owns everyone in the video.  Heidi Klum is also quite hysterical around 1:05. Happy Friday.  It's been a long, long, long, long week.  Need sleepy. I'm beat.

Is it odd to have a crush on someone after they're dead?

I think this video is one of the funniest things that I've ever seen. "I'm scaredddddd." He is horrified. It cracks me up every time. He saw pending death and scared the crap out of the "Hi Eeyore" kid.

Hoes don't wear coats.

I am thankful for Martin Luther King. I went to work today than instantly felt disappointed in myself, so I left. I didn't want to forsake the man, he helped make it possible for me to exist in the capacity that I do and be at work today. Who am I to disrespect the movement and all of the smart people that made today a legal holiday? Who do I look like? A Hillary supporter? I mean, we don't work on Christmas do we? I keed! I keed!

I read an interesting article on CNN about how the memory of MLK is being oversimplified and how it's important to remember that he was villified in his time, not hero-ed as he is today. Reading is fundamental.

That article put me in the spirit.  In light of that spirit, I'd like to announce that a mix of Whoopi Goldberg, Carol Alt, Oprah Winfrey, Ivanka Trump and Steve Jobs would be the ultimate person.

Bill could've used some of my spirit today.  Note him nodding off to the left side:

Not smart Bill!!! Hillary is going OFF when she gets home!

Next, I would like to bring the following people to justice:

The asshole squating on the left side of the above photo.  Why isn't this illegal? We are all going to hell.  She's fricking pregnant.  She's not dressed like a hoe, even though she doesn't have a coat on.  I'm comfortable with assuming it's pretty warm in LA.  All of these things seem to add up to a totally unwarranted intrusion.  I don't know what's more disgusting--that this happens or that if she hadn't been wearing any underwear that's all the media would care about. Where are we going with this?

Oh I know where!  Jamie Lynn Spears and Vanessa Hudgens should be arrested for being socially and personally irresponsible.   They need to be punished.  The babies are realizing that you can actually get pregnant if you're not married.  This means that they're thinking about sex. And ohmigod is that the chick from High School Musical's vag?

JUSTICE NOW!!!

I would also like for people who make statements like: "Some people say the way you vote in November will determine if you are more racist or more sexist," (Joy, The View) to be included in this group.  She said that shit all on MLK day.  If I was white, I'd call her unpatriotic.

I was additionally going to suggest that we bring Eve to justice for those nakee lesbian pictures that I just viewed, but Whoopi stopped me by reminding me that as women, we shouldn't look to tear each other down.  As women we stand by women who have made mistakes.  So that's what I'm doing.  I'm realllly fighting the urge to link to the pictures. Ohhh it's killing me...*humming an old feminist spiritual* ...(Google is your friend.) 

How embarassing.  I know folks are in the closet...but damn. Certain things just can't be unseen.  Eve fingering some chick, giving head to some chick in a threesome with all girls, getting head from a chick--ranks up there.  I hate how I'm desensitized to everything.  It upsets me that I recognize everything that is going on in those photos and am not cringing.

Sometimes I wish women were still outwardly (and inwardly, but mostly outwardly) naive.  I wish it wasn't popular to be a slut.  I wish it was cool to be classy.  And I wish that we had better fashion to define my generation--similar to that that existed in the 60s.  Especially for men.  I don't really think it's fair that I mostly have to go to church to see a guy in a suit on a regular basis.

MLK would not be pleased.  Sing sing celebrate.

This is how you pose.

I've been trying to teach myself Photoshop for a couple months now. It's a slow process. I need to just take a class. This is what I made today.  I LOLed.

It's too late to apologize. (Re: Bob Johnson). It's too late.

I won the lotto today.

Live for nothing or die for something.

I LURVE Britney Spears.  At any age.  18, 21, 25.  I don't care what you think.  She is thebomb.com! I say all this to say that the media are FUCKING CRAZY, son.

I don't even know where to begin.  I want to begin with the picture, but I don't want that crap on my blog, so here it goes:

NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR LIFE.

Britney Spears is "not pregnant" and the paps took a picture of her full, nasty bloody pad under her skirt as proof, then they actually put it online for everyone else to view.

The world is burning to the ground.  That is just too damn far.

WHO WEARS SHORT SKIRTS AND WHITE PANTIES WHEN THEY'RE HEAVILY ON THEIR PERIOD......???

I think this is also a fair question.  But enough is enough.  I could blame Britney here, but I don't.  I blame the paps.  Because they also take pictures like this:

This fuck actually took a picture underneath her skirt.

I'm not going to play her and waste everyone's time by pretending I think what's happening in that picture is insane.  I mean it definitely is gross, but it's more careless.  It happens (not since I've been grown, though.).  I have specific panties that I wear on the 2nd and 3rd day in case this happens stored way in the back of my drawer.  And then the rest of the days I'm wearing black ones just in case.

Beyond that, I feel terrible for her.  This is someone's MOTHER.  Can you imagine? Pictures of your mom out for everyone to see like this?  If this was anyone else we'd act like it was a mistake that we should have sympathy for them for.  I'm not excusing her behavior.  I'm just saying we've all been Britney Spears.  I've had a bad breakup and then went and overexaggerated the greatness of my life to prove to whoever (at the time, I was thinking it was him) that I'd moved on.  I've tried to make rebound boy into my husband. I've played the pretend-to-be-crazy to get my ex-boyfriend's attention card.  And really, if I had access to her facilities, I definitely would've went to a motherfucker's house with an umbrella for his ass.  Sue me, I make $700,000K + a month and I don't do shit.  YOU GON PAY.

Even when I wasn't having personal issues, I've been Britney Spears.  Three summers ago, Stef and I used to leave the house looking ridiculous running some "quick errand" all the time.  Stef would have her headwrap on, her grey scoop neck shirt (that really could be dressed up if paired with the right pants), the shortest yellow (or green...or pink...or whatever was left that I hadn't stolen) shorts that you've ever seen, ugg boots, a piece of tape stuck to her mouth--her license in her back pocket, carrying a cellphone, keys, a huge styrofoam cup full of her LaBamba uptownish-drink (that lasts her all day, she'll tell you) and a wallet in her hands.  Then I'd be right behind her with my drunken master bun, a tank top, sofies, a shoe with a heal on it and a big ass shiny purse.  We'd go throbbing down the street in her little ghetto Corolla with the black tint on the windows, rims on the tires, the thump in the trunk and way-cool-guy-looking lights looking absolutely crazy.

And don't let it be cold outside.  We'll wear a scarf as a shirt on your ass (or maybe that's just me...). Just for no reason. We will come out the woodwork with some outfits (I love us.). Just whatever is laying around. Doesn't matter whose it is (although it's most often Stef's ;)). Black leggings + brown boots + tank top + ...that's enough to form the point I'm trying to get across.

But don't get me wrong, if I was being stalked by the paparazzi, I'd get fly on their asses all the time.  But if they were following me like they follow her, there would definitely be times when they'd catch me slipping.  And then I'd just get annoyed and say to myself "girl bye, I am not bout to change my clothes and put on no makeup to go to no Starbucks," which is probably similar to how it all began.  She saw how much attention it got her--so she exaggerated it.

The media needs to lay off.  The chick has problems.  Do you know how messed up you have to be to have your kids taken away from you?  Nancy Grace said it best "you've got to be dressed in nothing but a thong and platform heals, lying on the courthouse steps shooting up heroine." Britney is on real drugs.  She is mentally ill. No one in their right mind would live their lives this way.  But she's not stupid.  I don't believe for a second that she's as dumb as they try to make her to be. This "Finalpixx" company that has show up out of no where with all these "exclusive" pics?  Yea.

The other day I saw some photographer yell "you're hot!" to her, and she responded something like "you're mean, because you're being sarcastic."  So because she's aware of what's happening, and still doesn't give a crap, everyone needs to see that they need to leave crazy to her own devices.  We don't need to see this.  We don't need to know that she uses a gas station bathroom everytime she leaves the house.  She will literally do anything to have ALL the attention.  Literally. Anything.  I couldn't believe that whole stand-off crap she pulled the night Obama won Iowa.  Coincidence?

That would be wild if it turned out Britney had it in with the government 50 years from now.

Because I feel this way, I know that I should stop giving it an audience.  But I can't help it.  I can't look away.  I don't know how to end this.  The end.

I'm down with the swirl.

Cannot stand Bob Johnson.  I came here to curse him out.  I had my assault all perfectly outlined in my head. And then I heard Rush Limbaugh, of all people, say:

"Rangel, Bob Johnson and other uppity Black leaders are trying to keep Obama down because he isn't a made man, not made by them that is."

And my argument is summed up in one sentence.

I am also blindly in love with John Mayer.  I wish that he would allow me to have his babies.  Every time I hear "Your Body is a Wonderland," I feel high.  It makes me weak in the knees.  I saw this on his blog today:

Dear Dallas and Surrounding Areas,

This isn't a sports blog, and it isn't a publicity stunt. (but have at me if it feels right.)

This is about doing what I think is right as a person, in this case speaking my mind.

I have never known anyone to have more pride in their home state and their upbringing in it than Jessica Simpson has in Texas. I don't really follow sports, but I have played some of my biggest and best concerts in your state, and having witnessed how dynamic the spirit there is, I'm betting emotions are running high right about now.

All witty barbs, blogs, and fashion policing aside, that girl loves Texas more than you know. It's one of her most defining traits as a person. So please don't try and take that away from her. (You probably wouldn't be able to, but it's less work for all involved.)

I just thought it would mean something coming from the guy who has the absolute least to gain from this. And if I'm out of line in having written it, too bad. I can spare a Wednesday's worth of bad press if it means sticking up for a good soul.

JM

So classy.  The last line, so perfect.  One of the sweetest things I've ever read.  It was titled "Don't ex with Texas," so clever.  Also filled with much win in making it apparent that he was the dumper in their little situation.  John Mayer, love me.

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

I really can't stand any of my ex-boys.  It's so odd to go back to any point in my life before now and imagine myself with some of those fools.  It's utter confusion in my head.  Crazy questions all swirling around at once.  Why was I ever with him? Why? Wait...really why?  I had nothing in common with any of them.  And that somehow makes me think that I didn't really know them at the time.  Or myself, really.  I was just being ridiculous.

Which is why I wish none of them would ever contact me.

Or die.  That could work too.

I keep getting trapped in these "nice guy" relationships. That shit is over. I don't like nice guys. I like guys that make fun of people in their heads with me and get my jokes. That I don't have to worry about coming off mean around. I don't know how it was that I kept getting into that same space repeatedly.  Such a bizarre occurrence.  I guess I just kept missing the point.  Or maybe I've just changed that much.  Anyway.

Speaking of completely disconnecting certain thoughts from my head and going the total opposite direction, I'm really wanting to abandon my blog.  I don't know.  But I took Makia's (there ya go boo!) Facebook message today as a sign that I should keep going.  I feel like I need something extra here.  I feel boring.  Stef says I need a theme.  I don't know what I think right now.

Sometimes I work really hard to get certain things, then decide I don't like it.  It's like I like the work or something. But we know that can't be right.  I guess I just like to win.  Then once that happens, I like to go win at something else.  It's crazy really.

Also speaking of crazy, tomorrow's my first day waking up for a 9-5 in over a year.  The vacation is over.  Let me get in the bed.

Gmail funny quote of the day. YES.