Winehouse gets the flowers while she can still smell them.

Amy Winehouse accepts Best Record Grammy

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Did not understand her "live sattelite" performance, as its like 3 up in London.  But, you have to wonder about a reaction like that.  Does she not know how amazing she is? Amy Winehouse is undeniable. Beyonce (despite obesity and fashion sense). Chris Brown performances. Janet. Johnny Depp. Jay-Z lyrics. John Mayer. Justin Timberlake. Michael Jackson. Oprah (Ef the haters!). Matthew McConahey's blatant mannishness.  The old Britney Spears. Brad Pitt's sexy. Prince. Stevie Wonder. The Beatles. Tina Turner. Kanye West. Old school Madonna. Victoria Beckham's celebrity. David Beckham's ass. Dave Grohl's talent. Alicia Keys love songs. Tupac. Will Smith. Cornell West. Outkast. Lil Wayne mixtapes. Rihanna's look. Naomi Campbell. The Cosby Show. Curb Your Enthusiasm. A Different World. Sex and the City.  The Sopranos. Little Miss Sunshine.   All movies made about music groups. The Notebook (Rachel McAdams, Ryan Gosling). Asha's dog (there ya go, wench).  Bravo reality shows.  Friends. Christian's humor on Project Runway. Perry on Make Me a Supermodel. Carrie Underwood's Before He Cheats. Tracy Chapman's Fast Car. Jeezy on remixes. The W Hotel. The spinach dip at Houston's. Popeye's fried chicken. Chipotle margaritas. Strip's fried lobster. Papadeux's Swamp Thangs.

Certain things are just facts.

The Grammys were excellent tonight as they were nearly entirely made up of undeniable people and things. 

In keeping with the recent theme of relating everything in life to Obama, Obama is undeniable. He's the Shania Twain that made Carrie Underwood, he's the Naomi that made Tyra, the Madonna that made Britney, the Jon B. that made Robin Thicke, the Janet that made Rihanna, the Tina Turner that made Beyonce, etc., etc. And he won a grammy! Woot!

Imagine everyone he makes everyday.  It's a wonderful thing.

He won Maine tonight, I am happy.

Anyone who disagrees with anything in this post should set themselves on fire.

That is all.

NOTE: No responses please about someone else being a more appropriate enabler to someone else.  I don't care.

Don't be afraid to shake that ass and misbehave.

Happy Friday from my BFFs!

Thank you, my brotha.

YES WE CAN!!! ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want him inside me.  He just highlighted everything great about people who love Obama.  We don't all look the same, but dammit if we all don't feel the exact same, even if we can't all articulate it as amazingly as he just did. Preach!

If you can't respect that, your whole perspective is wack.

"Isn't that sad? No really, I could understand someone being a conservative when you're old and crusty.  But when you're 20 years old, shouldn't you not be cynical?  Shouldn't you be for Barack Obama when you're 20?  I mean, if you can't catch Obama fever at 20..."  

YOU ARE A LOST CAUSE! I'll finish it for you Bill Maher, COULD NOT AGREE MORE!

It's so real. He is not reading off any paper. He's speaking straight from his soul. That's just how he rolls. We are the ones we've been waiting for? How real is that? I can't imagine where you have to be to be voting for Hillary right now. Don't people want something to believe in?  I don't get it. I feel like everyone who sees what I see is forever changed because of this. We are so blessed right now to be experiencing this. If he doesn't win, we won't go back to life as usual. Why would we want to? We're part of something wonderfully brilliant now. It really is a movement in the true sense of the word. What more do people want?

*UPDATE* OMG YALL, I totally was Team Obama before, but then I saw this and I realized that not only is Hillary a woman JUST LIKE ME, but she's also not just any random woman--she's EVERY woman, also just like me!  She's so relatable and feminine, I take back EVERYTHING I said! Go Hillary! 

A wise man told me not to argue with fools, cuz people from a distance can't tell who's who.

There are two types of people in this world.  The helpless and those who help themselves. When I was voting this morning, the most ridiculous woman was behind me getting mad at everything she could possibly think of outloud.  "Voting should be easy," she yelled, "You know what I'm saying?  Maybe I ain't supposed to speak on it, but it should just be easy!!!"

Bitch, how easy do you need it to be?

Let's see.  I got several emails outlining where I could vote, when I could vote and what to do if someone told me I couldn't vote.  Ok, she was older.  So maybe she doesn't have the Internet. Or a job that requires her to utilize a computer.  So, when I turn on the TV everyday in the morning, afternoon and night, there are several news stations telling you where, when and how to vote.  Okay, maybe she doesn't have a TV.  I got several texts from several friends asking me did I plan to vote and have I voted.  Ok, maybe she doesn't have a phone or friends.  When I was riding to work yesterday, every single station that I turned to (I listened to at least 4 different radio stations) was telling people when, how and where to vote. Some were even encouraging folks to call in sick because the lines to pre-vote had been so long.  Okay, maybe she doesn't have a radio or a car.  On my way into voting, I saw a HOMELESS MAN directing the very same woman to the sign that said "VOTE HERE" to show her where to vote.

True story.

On top of that, if you forgot your id, they allowed you to vote anyway and bring your ID later. If you had no clue where your ID was, they allowed you to to vote with a "provisional ballet." Moral of the story: ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SHOW YOUR FAT FUCKING ASS UP.

Despite the fact that everyone was dead silent and uncomfortable during her rants, I let her ignorant ass engage me.  Why?  What is wrong with me? For some odd reason still unbenownst to me at this very moment, I actually gave her a little over a minute of my time.  MAYBE a minute.  I'm tempted to say 30 seconds.  And out of nowhere. Out of the fucking blue. She told me that I must be out of touch with my people.  Because obviously all of my people are black and have no concept of the state of the nation.

How wrong can one person be?

Ok lady (bitch), to prove that I'm sensitive to the plight of the uninformed, come November, here's what I'll do.  I'll look your silly ass up in the phone book, call you, wake you up, remind you to bring identification, pick you up, take you to the poll place, hold your hand, walk you in, explain to all of the nice, cute little old black ladies (with their 1965 wigs on and sorority paraphenalia) that volunteered their time (and probably had seen some REAL hardships in terms of voting in their lifetime) working the poll place that your time is more valuable than everyone else's, therefore you don't have to wait in line.  I'll then give them your information, insert the key card into the machine and read the options aloud to you.  I'll press the buttons that you prefer, and then take your dumb ass home at no cost to you.  I'll be your personal spoon feeder!  See? I'm TOTE in touch with reality.  That reminds me, I need to renew my NAACP membership!

And finally, the winning comment of the night goes to...(drumroll please...)

Dun dun dun dun!!!

I don't know the exact quote actually, sorry for that anticipation.  But this guy on CNN said Huckabee is such a blind follower of fundamentalist religion and so dumb that he doesn't even believe in gravity (as if that should even be a matter of belief, for the slow folks).

Ahahahaha. All of this is so exciting.  I feel so sorry for everyone too "uniformed" to care to be involved. 

Winners never cheat and cheaters never win.

Peyton Manning United Way SNL

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Really not into football in general and the Super Bowl in particular, so I don't pretend to be.  In my head, they stretch a 30 minute game into 4 gotdamn hours by playing for 2 seconds, then stopping.  Playing for four seconds...then stopping.  It's dull.  I have, however, had a strong affinity for Peyton Manning ever since he made SNL funny again (see above).  And before I forget, fuck Tom Brady.  I have enough invasive none-of-my-business-but-so-what animosity for cheaters/deadbeats to think that he's a dick for leaving his pregnant girlfriend or however it went down.  So I decided to root for the Giants by association.  

That said, the 4th quarter was amazing despite the other 2 hours of play.  Up until then, I'd DVRed the entire thing so I could fast forward to the commercials later, which were not good. My mind kept wandering thinking about how hilarious it would be if that loose satellite randomly crashed down onto the field in the middle of everything.  Then halftime was a joke, I feel like blaming Janet Jackson but it isn't all her fault. Bring back Prince! Tom Petty reminds me of various moments in my childhood.  I was waiting for Last Dance with Mary Jane and it just... never happened.  So flipped on over to the Puppy Bowl and OMG CUTE.  NEVER AGAIN WILL I WATCH THE SUPERBOWL. THIS is entertainment!  It should be a 24 hour channel, let me tell you, I'd be all over it.

Speaking of unentertaining jokes...oh hello LA Gear circa 1989 and not in a cool update.  What THEE hell. Just when you think Beyonce and her mama couldn't be any tackier, they go and outdo themselves.  There's literally no competition like the real competition. It wasn't enough that they were high tops.  No no. They had to add that fancy helvetica font to the side.  I'd rather wear those Pastry things, and I would NEVER wear those Pastry things. Wait, I just noticed the website says something about them being couture. Must shut down computer immediately.

Yes we can!

Video = made of awesome.

Your booty might be bigga, but I still can pull yo ni**a...

I LOVE THIS FRICKING SONG.  It reminds me of summertime. Winter is not conducive for life. Erykah always comes with the random foxiness.  I think it's odd, but she does it well.  I mean really, what was that random booty shot? I really just posted this to have something to dance to this Friday and mention that that puppet at the end freaks me OUT.  Seriously one of the scariest things that I've ever seen. I change the channel before he can come on.  You've been warned!  Watch at your own risk! HAPPY FEBRUARY!!!

Signed,

Paid motherfucker